NL Central forecast

Cards
This is the most confusing and disappointing division in baseball. The Cards are the most uninspiring champion since the Shaq-Kobe Lakers. But they've got Carpenter and Pujols so they should be able to hang for a while. 85 wins.

Reds
Looking over the roster I see some guys that look promising. Adam Dunn is looking monsterous, I'm thinking MVP. Arroyo, Harang, Lohse, Saarloos, and Milton are all primed for over-achieving-ness and if they can all just be okay, the Reds just might wrestle the division crown from the Cards. 83 wins.

Brewers
The Brewers are the chic pick these days and Ben Sheets did get off to a good start. But I don't know, man, Jeff Suppan is their big off-season pick-up? Not convinced. They're young and feisty but I doubt they pull it off. 82 wins.

Cubs
Oh, Cubbies! You achieve so little and yet we love you anyway. You are baseball's equivalent of Stephon Marbury. You are the cross between Eminem and Al Gore that deep down Americans really want to love. Picking up Soriano looks good on paper, but, as you Tribuners know all too well, nobody reads papers any more. 78 wins.

Astros
Roy Oswalt will be a Cy Young candidate all year long. Carlos Lee and Lance Berkman is nice combo. Too bad there's not much else going on down there. 72 wins.

Pirates
According to string theory there are multiple universes. In one of them, the Pittsburgh Pirates are as beloved as the Cubs. In the universe you and I live in, they're not even as beloved as the Pittsburgh Penguins. 67 wins.