2024 Copa America (semifinals)

Ecuador 1-1 Argentina (Argentina advances on PKs)

Wow, what a game! Ecuador kicked ass for about 15 minutes, then the Argentines took over but they could only find the goal once setting the stage for Ecuador to kick ass for the last 10 minutes where they found the goal that knotted it up late. Furious action down the stretch and, like all the Copa games so far, very chippy action from both sides all the way through. No overtime (!) in this tourney, so Ecuador's late tying goal sent the game straight to PKs and both teams feature stifling goalies, so this felt like it would be a classic--especially since Messi doinked the first shot! (Also, not to be a whiner, but, man, Messi did NOTHING in this match, nary a single worthwhile highlight in 90+ minutes; I know he can still come alive with a quickness but his long stretches of nothing are kinda starting to drag this team and I just don't see how he'll make it to the next World Cup) But, while Argentina's awesome goalie came up with a coupla big saves, Ecuador's awesome goalie was bested and Argentina gets to move on. Argentina really is pretty great (with or without an active Messi) but hats off to Ecuador, they hung tough, man.

Venezuela 1-1 Canada (Canada advances on PKs)

Wow, Venezuela totally sucked in this match! I thought Venezuela was one of the better teams in the whole tourney, a shoo-in for the semis and maybe a trendy upset pick. But they woefully underestimated Canada's athleticism and just never got any kind of coherent game plan going at all. Their one goal was kinda fluky--holy shit, I've seen more long ball attempts in the last two weeks than I've ever seen in my life and this is the only one that actually went in! But even tying up the game rather late in the 2nd half didn't swing the momentum. Oh and just to pile on: Canada didn't even play particularly good in this game! They should've scored at least 5 goals, they had so many wide open looks in the box that they couldn't connect on and yet Venezuela was so incompetent on this evening that Canada still dominated this game--even through the PK's. Canada has definitely improved over the years and their athleticism is legit (though they still are not particularly good at soccer), but they still aren't very good--and the fact that they're going to the semis while USA and Mexico couldn't get out of group play is....frustrating, to say the least. Good luck to them, I'd love to say they're playing well but they're not, but God love 'em. If they beat Argentina, I will eat my television. 

Colombia 5-0 Panama

Well, this was a snooze. Colombia was up 2-0 before I even got my popcorn ready! The only moment of controversy was right after Colombia's second goal, Panama had a shot go off the inside of the post, then get swatted out by the keeper. I say that was a goal but the Copa doesn't have goalline technology. WTF? 42 thousand cameras in that stadium and they can't figure out how to point one at the goal? Da fuck is that? Anyway, it's hard to imagine that goal would've made any difference but Panama did have a flurry there where they might've been able to get something going and the powers that be jacked them. Oh well. Colombia was the better team and Panama shouldn't have been there anyway (yeah, I'm the USA fan looking at this scoreline and thinking, 'that could've been us....' LOL). Colombia is really good, though, James Rodriguez (whatever happened to that guy?) looks rejuvenated.

Uruguay 0-0 Brazil (Uruguay advances on PK's)

Wow! Chippy game, sloppy game, neither team ever took control, but it was still fun as hell. Both teams had great moments, both teams made stupid fouls--and, man, this ref was allergic to cards or something, it took him forever to finally book anybody! Full court action, too, both of these squads went up and down the field on each other. Kinda shocking that Brazil didn't just casually go 5-for-5 on the PK's, but they did not and they're going home. Brazil always has the talent but they don't always have cohesion or a clear game plan and its been a while now since Brazil has been....you know....BRAZIL, even though their C-team still has world class talent. (Take heed, American basketball fans: this could happen to us!) Oh well, Brazil will always be dangerous, but I wonder when they'll win again. As for Uruguay, this team is good and a match with Colombia will be another classic. 

Semifinals

Argentina - Canada

Who let the Canada in here? How is this possible? Brazil got bounced but fuckin' Canada is still in it? Oh well, that will be rectified soon. Argentina beat Canada 2-0 in the opening match of the tourney and I would expect at least that here. Argentina is cruising even if Messi seems kinda vacant, they should dominate from beginning to end. Canada has nice athletes but they can't hang with Argentina. 

Colombia - Uruguay

This is gonna be a great one! Similar squads, good talent all over the field, should be a little cleaner than their recent Brazil matches, but still competitive. Can't wait, no idea who to pick, this is a coin flip match. I'll go with Colombia, but a Uruguay victory wouldn't be shocking.