Saturday, June 6, 2015

American Pharoah Takes the Triple Crown

Cool, man: today's Belmont was the first horse race I've watched in probably 10 years and it was the only one I really needed to see in that time. That's efficiency, folks, if Lebron played that well the Cavs might stand a chance against the Warriors (jk, no chance, lol). Gotta say: American Pharoah is a cool name btw, reminds me of American Psycho; I find myself wondering if the horse likes Huey Lewis records...probably not...he's a horse).

Is American Pharaoh a worthy champion? Hell I don't know. What I do know is that speedy quadruped is on his way to a long lazy life of banging hot rich lady horses. Ni-iiiice. Hey, this horse just cashed in the first lottery ticket to the good life that this business has produced in a while (I guess John Henry was the last truly legendary, money-minting horse...?). Good for him but I still couldn't care less about horse racing. I love animals, I love games of chance, I love gambling and day drinking with total strangers, you think I'd be all into horse racing...not a bit. I think its kinda gross as an entertainment, devoid all the loveliness of horses, devoid all the drama of contests and races, ultimately just the lamest sorta degenerate gambler bullshit activity. (And besides, day drinking with strangers can be had pretty much whenever I want it. So what's left?)

Good for you, American Pharoah. Bonjovi!

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