Poor Russian Cutie Pummeled Repeatedly

Serena Williams got to do this weekend what men all across the western world have fantasized about: spank Maria Sharapova. Gentlemen, we get to live vicariously through Serena's racket. It's as close as I'll ever get and that's cool, I'm not bitter or anything.

Sharapova lost the first set 6-1 on 4 unforced errors. Four! That's fewer than Serena! In the talk radio rush to minimalize every outcome to a quick and easy meme, people will say Sharapova didn't bring it, she sucks, she's a choker. All incorrect and further degrade the true appreciation of Serena's win. This was perhaps the most thorough beatdown of a great player I've seen since the Bills murdered Bo Jackson's Raiders in the AFC title game or the Red Wings dismantled Lindros's Flyers. Dude, Serena didn't beat a choke artist. She went toe-to-toe with the #1 player in the world and dominated her, outlasted her, outhustled her, just all round kicked her ass. Sharapova had trouble with her first serve (her doom) but while her return game was excellent, Serena's was even more excellent and it ate the Russian up.

There was a point in the second set where Sharapova was playing pretty well and was in position to make a run at grabbing the second set. She labored through 3 deuces before finally taking the game and it wore her out. Like watching a pitcher who can't get off the mound you realize that time of possession works against you in some sports. It was there that Serena went Arnold on her, gave Sharapova that eye of the Tiger and Maria got Ferrigno-ed. Serena is clearly back and that's fine with me.

Hingis has warning track power these days, Henin-Hardenne will go as far her injuries will let her go (she played in all 4 finals last year), Kim Clijster is apparently 'pulling a Tiki' and letting everybody know she's ready to hang it up. There's a slew of Russian girls but, apart from Sharapova who is the real deal, they all seem like they came from the Safin school of head cases with big games. Sharapova-Serena in the finals of the slams and again at the end of the year tourney, that'll keep me as interested in women's tennis as I can get. They're the two best players and the two most interesting ladies. I'm ready for the French.