2021-22 Pointless NBA Trade Ideas

Bulls get: Zion, Eric Bledsoe, Seth Curry

Pelicans get: Ben Simmons, Nikola Vucevic, Bulls 2022 1st rd pick, Bulls 2025 1st rd pick, Sixers 2027 1st rd pick

Sixers get: (sign & trade) Zach LaVine, Bulls 2027 1st rd pick, Coby White, Ryan Arcidiacano

Look, New Orleans, I hate to say it but it is only a matter of time before Zion demands a move, the days of getting through the rookie contract are probably over. As long as everyone is hating on Ben Simmons, now is the time to make a big balls trade, shore up some future roster certainty and work on your scouting department. Personally, I'd rather trade Ingram and build around Zion but that probably isn't in the cards for the Pelicans, so time zig instead of trying to zag. Here you can bring back the most underappreciated player in the game (Vucevic) and the most divisive player in the game (Simmons) to go with perhaps the most perplexing player in the game (Ingram) and lock that nucleus down for three years while you cobble draft picks around them. I'm not sure that team would win but they would be a pain in the ass and, my god, if Trae Young can drag a bag of tomato cans to the final four, than let's see Ben Simmons show some love of the game out there. The Pelicans will still want to move on from Steven Adams, but I already made a post about that (to the Raptors) that wouldn't be interrupted by this move. And they should also re-sign Lonzo. 

The Sixers replace the defensive minded Simmons with the offensive minded LaVine and move on from Curry to go younger. They still have have Thybuld and Embiid for defensive activity but a faster younger shoot-happy squad (Maxey, White) around Embiid in a lineup built to outscore teams rather than try to play defense. 

The Bulls get the best young prospect in the game (*) and two veteran wing scorers to pack in with him. If I were building a team around Zion, I'd want five Alex Caruso clones and five Daniel Thies clones. The instructions would be simple: 100% commitment on defense, crash the boards and do whatever Zion tells you to do. Rotate your Caruso clones and Theis clones and, yeah, that sounds just about perfect. You want Zion to have perimeter shooters but you don't need superstars, you'd rather have hustlers. Zion is going to do all the work on offense, all your need from the other four guys is effort. The good news is the Bulls already have Thies and Caruso is a free agent, I'd grab them both and try to get perimeter scoring and hustling defenders to go with Zion. 

Does this make the Bulls a dangerous squad? Zion alone makes the Bulls a dangerous squad. Can the Bulls do better than the Pelicans at building around him? I dunno, really all that matters is Zion getting to a team he can live with. Is that team Chicago?

I don't see this deal happening because the Pelicans trading Zion under any circumstances would be pretty dumb. And the Sixers trading Ben Simmons is probably gonna require a better deal than this. And the Bulls don't really have enough to make a Zion or Simmons trade work. But this deal is (kinda) possible and (kinda) satisfies what the Bulls and Sixers need. The question is: could Zion live with this deal? 

(*) I suppose it's worth noting that I am assuming that the Bulls are an acceptable landing spot for Zion. I've heard Lakers (LA would love to make it work but that ain't gonna be easy) and the Knicks (might not have enough to make that happen--unless Randle gets traded to make room for Zion AGAIN!).